Saturday, September 11

Can i sing ??

"Spring has past , Summer has gone , and Spring is here . And the song that i meant to sing remains unsung "
                                        I see the openness encompassing the sky
                                          the freshness building within leaving me no boundaries
                                          my urge to let loose the hidden child knocks frequently
                                          'I hear the tune but i just look'
I see momma' mixing all the aromatic spices in the kitchen
for me to forget the bitter picture and grow with the sweetness of her hands
i walk towards her, to say thank you
'I hear the tune but i just look'

I see the man who envisaged my little eyes when he held me the first time,
as the eyes that shall see the good.
the man who stood up being my aegis, loving every year of me,
the years got bigger and wilder , but his love remained alike
he stands there talking with someone , i look at the hands,
and still looked bigger than mine. i move ahead to hold em' once again
'I hear the tune but i just look'

I see a girl who waited for me to come out of the womb.
Amazing the feeling was for her back then,
and the amazement never can die 'she says                                    
i still am unable to realize why she always quit first in a fight
i see her dealing with her own grown up life, i get up to kiss her
'I hear the tune but i just look'

I see a boy who found me when i needed love 
he saw me in all my moods' and never complained
i see him now playing football ,the happiness on his face
makes me think whether i was able to inculcate a lasting love?
the words plead for a leeway, i start walking closer
'I hear the tune but i just look'

I see my folks getting way ahead in their lives ,
i call them to say they still are geniuses vexing every part of me,
we never stop rolling down, laughing on our own selves
the phone gets disconnected but never my desire to tell them
how much i miss them', my fingers start to redial...
'I hear the tune but i just look'
I see every fourth human being living in a deep melancholy
i hear their notes , feel their pain and their urge for a change.
my hands are ready to cling onto theirs , yet they tremble
i feel the lack of trust .... i demand a change in my perceptions
'I hear the tune but i just look'

The song of my life i always can hear
the tunes aren't creating a symphony
not because they're unclear but
because i let them drown in fear.

MOST of us live our lives with our greatest song remaining unsung.
let your real self get out of you.
love all the moment .

Friday, September 10

"to thine own self be true"

The incompleteness doesn't always get counted with a physical proximity because I have been living without you since the time I met you. The incompleteness is when I restrict my heart from being with you.

The eyes which are mine will have a perception of their own because you  are not there to show them the light. The eyes which are yours shall release everything obscure around me.

The love that remains may become my surviving factor knowing the purity I had lost long time ago. The love you can give forever shall make me alive again.

The heart can not skip a beat as I may live for others too, they shall provide me with the basics' but the heart shall remain forsaken not hearing from you.

The motivating factors are thousands and I shall get accustomed 
I shall work to be my self again but not without hearing the voice that was making me rise up.

The time once rendered the goodness in me you were happy. The goodness shall come back again but your presence shall make it an easier triumph.

The needs can be fulfilled by the ones who are still there, needs are never ending but without you any sort of need is baseless and unwilling.

With you I see myself .
Without you its another dragged identity.

I recently got an opportunity to have a self trip to Ahemdabad where I had to manage everything on my own. There was a sudden feeling which arose inside me, that we can acknowledge our individual belonging in this world only when we are left out to explore, every horizon which interests us. There’s an all new place, new people and new culture. It was one trip where i deepened my thoughts for every little thing I saw and derived something positive out of it. A trip where more than my legs, my brain was walking, into the areas where everything was fresh and untouched. Gujarat, I heard, is a land where people live for people. Social bonding and pleasures really means life for them. And I surely can not put a dubiety on it. They are smiling inside out. I remember I had lost my way back to the National Institute of Design (NID) guest house where I was living and hesitated to ask anybody as they might take the opportunity for a wrong deed. But trust me, if you can't trust a person you can definitely get a sense of support by the way they approach your problems. And a faithful look in their eyes and the tone of their speech helps you remember and respect the place forever. It was the first time I felt that 'Atithi Deva Bhava' does really hold an importance.
Mostly people hesitate or get irritated while traveling as it gets tiring and sometimes boring but it’s a heaven for my mind and my thoughts. The faster the train would run, the quicker and healthier my thoughts would get. It wasn't just an excitement but a feeling of stepping onto a ground where you can see thousands of footsteps and another one which you are going to engrave. The thoughts just got more poetic as I unraveled new visions that were changing outside my window as if they are inside it and I am looking into a television. Living there and experiencing a new place was a total bliss not that I got the opportunity to be alone but I figured out that a journey is not just ' You on Wheels ' but something more meaningful. It’s an experience which gives you the time with yourself, to see the things with a mind which has left all the ' modern problems' of the world and is now ready to explore a new vision of life.

"Relationship”, one gaze at this word and we are surrounded with thoughts. Some go on a reverse journey of their love affair, some say "oh! very difficult”, some think of their mothers, some of the ones who have left this world , some of their pets and some just read the next word. But isn't it magical that this world holds together all of mankind. By communicating with the people around, known or unknown, we discover an inexplicable bond between us. The bond which stays forever.
But in the present era, is this really as simple as it looks or do we believe that just by saying the word ' simple’, relationships actually become simple. No. If we come to think about it, the complexity of relationships is the only factor which keeps them growing. Because if they'd been all simple and just we would have never endeavored giving them our heart and soul. For instance, if you see the same person every morning at the bus stop while going to work and all you do is 'smile' for a bright morning and move on, that is not what a relationship is because that has no extension to it , its a routine thing the way you brush your teeth. But someday your bus got late and you got a chance to have a conversation, knowing his deeds, grabbing whatever useful knowledge he has, understanding his perception , and you even think about it when you are not with the person....that is what a relationship is.
Therefore, simple is not a word for relationships. As no relationship is 'simple'. It’s either good, not good, fun, sensual, lustful, heavenly, spiritual and so on. But to all of them 'complex' is always there. And complex does not mean that it is hard for you to carry yourself with it but signifies the continuous need for your inputs. So whenever a relationship gets more complex, always start to give in more of yourself because the bond is growing wider and bigger. And it is certainly not a burden. Its just God’s way of making you aware of the capabilities of handling one of his divine creations-Humans.

" conversation was with him was bad", "its not love, its need”,"I don’t feel good about my job anymore".......Our mind never rests. Something or the other keeps jiggling inside. Some of us know exactly how to talk about it either bluntly or politely, but some after a long mull over session, finally take a pen and jot it down as if it’s the next chapter in psychology exam or a profitable quotation. Because for them writing and then letting it go is the most feasible option.
"Intimacy blurs Perception”. You keep gathering several thoughts, put them in your diary and in the end you are done with the feeling, happy or sad. Your perception has been given a full stop. Who came to know what you really feel? " I can not help it", " let it go" " just deal with what’s coming next" and keep writing your ' confused mind' on a piece of paper or to put it correctly - make a useless piece of paper the only gainer of your benefited eloquence , which in reality people might admire if they would know. But let no one know and keep writing till the day when the lock of this secret diary will get covered with rust, not even letting you know the things, the feelings you wrote. You've forgotten why you wrote, how you felt. Keen to know what’s next in scene? You die. End of your thoughts, which nobody came to know.
P.S. even I write a diary, to remember what each moment is giving to me. The feelings, happiness, sorrow, laughter but at the same time I find it equally necessary to dialogue it to real people.